October 2016

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July 2016

7/3
K: I’ve been reading more just in my head lately. I call it mind reading.

7/4 H was up for actual after dark 4th fireworks for the first time in several years. He loved watching kept running back to the front door yelling “badguybadguybadguy” which I finally figured out was little guy swearing.

7/7
Bill and H have this whole “magnetic beebo” schtick right now. I actually saw Hunter run across the room naked to stick his belly on Bill’s. Because magnets.

7/8
H, laughing, watching as his pee sprays across the playroom rug
A: Hunter! Stop! This isn’t funny! It’s just a big pee mess! Please use the potty!
H: Well, it’s a little funny.

H walks out of kitchen looking disgusted, holding a mango with a bite missing out of the skin
A: Yep, the skin isn’t good to eat, buddy. Let me peel that for you. Do you know what that is?
H: Coconut.
A: That does grow in the same kind of hot places as coconuts. It’s a mango.
H: Yep. Mango coconut.

7/10 Super late night due to plays and the heat, and the kids are eating weird. Hunter was begging for snacks. I caught him lying almost all the way down on a pillow, eyes closed, nursing to sleep on a square of cheddar cheese.

7/14 H has been loving a picture book called Mother Bruce, about a bear whose great passion in life is collecting eggs from all around the forest, to use in gourmet recipes. One day the eggs he took from Mother Goose hatch, the goslings imprint on him, and when he tries to return them he finds that she’s flown south for the winter. Hunter happens to be the chief egg cracker, and was 14 eggs into a giant pan of bacon-crust quiche when he started dropping the eggs, whole, into the measuring cup into which we were cracking them. He pulled one out and announced, “This is my slimy buddy.” Slimy Buddy could not become quiche. In fact, due to the shiny egg glaze on on Slimy Buddy’s shell, Hunter recognized him in the egg carton next time we were cooking eggs, and said he would not crack his eggy buddy. Eggy Buddy got a new bed in the fridge and nibbled the cooked eggs. Eggy Buddy also fell down and cracked on the floor several days. Hunter was relatively unfazed, said buy to eggy Buddy, and moved on.

7/15 B was talking about everyone’s names.
H: I’m Hunter Bunter.

7/15 Had a nice conversation about what might have caused the sea gull on the beach to die.
B: Maybe it got that disease that is carried by mosquitos.
K: Lyme disease!
B: No, Lyme disease is spread by ticks.
(Pause)
K: There are ticks, and there are tocks. Tocks get lemon disease.

7/17 Overheard:
B: We are NOT bringing a suitcase full of dog food.

7/17 B to K: Can Lily wear the cape, since she doesn’t have a jacket for comedies?
A, up the stairs: Cymbeline is a tragedy!
K, hollering down: No! It’s a problem play!

7/18: H, about strawberry: It’s NORMOUS! It’s giant!

7/18: Came home from a skating lesson to little voices hollering upstairs:
H: KINGDOM FOR A HORSE!
K: Now Hunter, say this (psppspspspsss)
H: Romiet, oh Romiet, where are you Romiet?
I may have laughed until I cried on the downstairs toilet.
…..
H, AMPED: To be
Not to be
To be
Not to be
To be
Not to be

June 2016

6/7:
H: There’s fruit in that apple!
A: You’re right, apples are a kind of fruit.
H: NO! There’s so much fruit in that apple!

6/14:
H was looking at his foot and making little animal whiny noises.
A: Oh, your toe nail is breaking. Can I trim it?
H: No!
(Whines like a dog and moans further for several minutes)
(H bites off the broken edge of his toe nail with his teeth)

6/23
A: Please put this necklace in the pop beads.
H: You wear it!
A: OK. Do I look pretty?
H: You look so pretty, you could be a chair.
A: A chair? Chairs that you sit on?
H: Yep, you sit on chairs.

6/25
H: Are bats people?

6/26
H cried a lot about the caterpillars that destroyed the kale being threatened with death. Relocation happened instead.

6/27
Max drank Hunter’s pee out of the potty.

6/28
The Cat in the Hat books have been huge with Hunter for quite a while.

May 2016

H, naked, kneels before toilet and places pop bead bracelets on lid.
A: What’s going on?
H: I’m selling them.
A: That sounds awesome, but who is going to buy them in our bathroom?
H: People are going to open the door and come in and buy them.
A: Oh OK. Which door?
H: There is no door.
(A returns text message regarding appointment)
H: PLAY WITH ME!
A: OK….Knock knock. I am looking for a bracelet. Do you know where I can buy one?
H: Here!
A: How much do the bracelets cost?
H: Five.
A: Five cents, or five dollars?
H: Five hundy hundy all around.

A: The Little Snowplow, written by Lora Koehler, illustrated by Robert Parker
H: Parker! That might be a truck!
A: You think the illustrator is a truck?
H: Yes. Parker. That’s a truck.
15 minutes later
A: When Dinosaurs Came With Everything by Elise Broach, illustrated by David Small.
H: Small! He’s a dinosaur.

Hunter is very sensitive about having his shirt covering his back in the carseat. Even after it is adjusted he regularly chants, “Shirt not down! Shirt not down!”

On the upside, he is asking many thoughtful questions about how things work, which is new.

Katya hit several milestones, including swearing. She called a parent “shitpants.”  She also started washing her own hair, which is a considerable task.

For his part, Hunter started taking showers, because the tub leaked and needs to be replaced. He insists that it is frightening and he does not like it, until the moment the spray hits him, and then he laughs hysterically the whole time. This child is very shower ticklish.

April 2016

H has been infrequently and at random walking up behind people to bite their rumps through their pants for a few months now.

A: Should we get these kind of Crocs again?
H: Yeah. They’re a little small. But that’s OK, because my feet are a little small.

A: If you were a —–, what kind would you want to be?

H: Wild animal: lion (but will not discuss what he would eat as a lion)

truck: steamroller

boat: “race boat”

The kids are pretty good about putting their shoes away on the shelf next to the front door. In fact, Hunter has become extremely distraught several times lately when I took his shoes off in bed “to take downstairs later.” I have to take them all the way down.

Today he saw Katya’s flip flops lying in the middle of the living room floor. “Oh no! Katya’s shoes fell off! KATYA! I FOUND YOUR SHOES!”

B: Hey buddy, we need to get you some dinner.

H: I ate 500 things every day.

A: What’s your favorite fruit?

H: EVERYTHING!

A: What’s your favorite vegetable?

H: BROCCOLI!

March 2016

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February 2016

2/5 A: Let’s change your shirt. Wait, should we change your shirt before dinner, or is it futile?
H: It’s foo-tile.

H’s new favorite phrase is “kind of.”

“Me wuv you. Kind of.”

H will not wear short sleeves because people can see his tattoos. When I asked him about this, he yelled, “It’s private!” When I offered him a button-down shirt, he yelled, “No! That’s a JACKET!”

a tiny bit of January 2016

H grabs clean colander off drying rack
A: Hey, you can put that away with the pots
H: I want to wear it on my face! (Colander mask happens, dancing, then shifts to colander helmet.)
A: Ok, here are your chips.
H: It’s too big! (Chips fall as cup
tilts)
A: Here, I will hold the cup level while you pick up.
H: (sitting still and singing) Pick up, pick up, pick up….

Notes from September 2015

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November 2015 quotes

Host at Denny’s: Would you like a high chair?
A: No thanks.
B: I’m a big guy.

Later, after kids have started eating various animal-shaped foods:
K: I’m going to have glowing poop because I ate Rudolph’s nose!

H, every day: Hide, monster!

H, naked, climbs into the shirt B is wearing on a cold day.

H: Nursie! (pokes nipple) Nursie! (Pokes other nipple)

B: Let’s show Mommy your hiding place.

H: Hide, monster!

B pulls neck hole aside to peer in and has hand shoved away by H.

B: Hey, this is my shirt.

H: This is my house.

B: But it’s my shirt!

H: This is my house.

H, in Grandma’s house, hands Grandma an open jar of honey which she has never seen before

G, shocked: Where did this come from?

H: It comes from bees.